The #VaticanTapes – a movie that wasn’t

I think it was just a brief moment ago that I wrote about this killer zombie movie from down under. I said zombie genre was the bestest in the whole wide world–except, of course, for possession films. The Vatican Tapes taunted me at my local dvd store (no longer local, boo!) for some time before I broke down and rented it for 99 Canadian cents (that’s like 3 pennies and a Hail Mary for you US peeps). At first I thought I had quite the bargain. The acting–solid. The special effects–nothing to cry about. The concept? A young woman becoming the Anti-Christ while a Vatican team rushes to save her and the world? It’s been done, but the story was engaging.

Then the thing ended.

Ever see a movie that has a lot of promise from cover art to 9/10s of the film done only to completely drop the ball at the end? If not, try watching The Vatican Tapes because that’s exactly what this film did. The fault is 100% directly with the writers. I don’t like to push ‘how to’ books, but fucking hell, someone buy these guys Save the Cat. They followed Blake Snyder’s beat sheets almost perfectly, you know, until they stopped their movie 10 minutes shy. (When I say 10 minutes shy, I literally mean this. The dvd said 91 minutes for the movie. The credit sheet started at 81 minutes. I fast-forwarded¬†through 10 minutes of credits to see if the real ending was anywhere. Nope–just 10 minutes of credits.)

At least I have Age of Ultron (hey, MARVEL, where the heck is my digital copy you promised me?!) to wash this disappointing movie away.

 

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